Causing quarrels

So, I know I haven't posted on here in a while. God has been doing a lot in me, working out a lot of junk that just needs to go, and in the process is beginning to show me the vision of who I really am in Him. Today's devos for me were really powerful. I'm going to be really transparent here. Things are not always great in life. And right now, things at home just aren't what they can and should be. But God's working on it. I don't have any power in myself to fix it, but God does.

My verse came out of yesterday's readings, so I kind of felt like I was cheating, but God knows what he's doing, and he drew my eyes there for a reason.

James 4:1-2
"What causes quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God."

I know James is talking to people quarreling within the church, but this speaks to me for all relationships. The only reason anyone argues is essentially because they are not getting what they want and think they deserve. It's not necessarily about anger or hurt toward someone else (even though that may be present), but the root comes from the "desires within you." We look to others to supply what we should be asking from God, and when they fail us, we fight.

Ouch! Am I seeking God first for what I want and need? Or do I look to those who are close to me first and then get angry when they don't fulfill what I think I deserve out of relationships. Right now my relationship with my husband seems to stand out. I want so badly for our relationship to look like my ideal relationship with God. And it should. But it needs to be a reflection, not a replacement. My relationship with God needs to be where everything begins. I need to look to God to see how I am loved and the worth that he has breathed into me. If I desire to be comforted and lifted up, I need to look to and ask God first. Because if that is not enough for me then my priorities are seriously out of whack.

My prayer:
Thank you, Father, for revealing more of yourself and your heart to me today. Please forgive me for relying on myself and others before you. Please help me to be a better wife, show me what I need to do to continue to make my marriage better, closer to what you designed it to be. Thank you for your patience with me, for guiding me gently. I love you and am so glad I can look to you for help, direction, and comfort. Please bless my family as we learn to draw closer to you. In Jesus' name, AMEN.